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Purple Row After Dark: Which Rockies would survive a horror movie?

Sometimes watching the Rockies can be particularly frightening. After 104 losses in 2026, Colorado fans have certainly endured their share of horror. But this Halloween, I’m flipping the script. Instead of asking how scary the Rockies can be, I’m asking…

By James Riggenbach · Purple Row

Published: Sunday, 1 November 2026 at 2:00 AM

Key Things to Know

James Riggenbach explores which Colorado Rockies players would survive different horror movie scenarios.
Riggenbach picks Jake McCarthy to outrun Jason Voorhees due to his sprint speed.
The writer selects Kyle Karros and TJ Rumfield to survive Jigsaw's traps with their plate discipline.

The Story in 60 Seconds

James Riggenbach of Purple Row humorously examines which Colorado Rockies players would survive various classic horror film scenarios following the team's 104-loss season in 2026. The lighthearted Halloween-themed article pairs specific players with fictional horror villains based on their athletic skills and on-field traits.

Riggenbach selects Jake McCarthy to outrun Friday the 13th killer Jason Voorhees, while picking disciplined hitters Kyle Karros and TJ Rumfield to navigate Jigsaw's traps from Saw. Additionally, the writer argues Hunter Goodman's power hitting would combat zombies, while suggesting Troy Johnston would be quickly eliminated in Scream.

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Purple Row After Dark: Which Rockies would survive a horror movie?

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